Setting Boundaries Postpartum: How to Protect Your Peace and Prioritize Healing

As a doula, one of the most common questions I get is how to navigate boundaries during the postpartum phase.

Do I let people hold my baby?

How do I ask people not to kiss the baby?

Is it okay to have visitors right away?

What if I want people to visit—but I want to keep my baby on my chest the whole time?

Mama, these are valid questions. And you are not alone in asking them.

Why Boundaries Are Hard (But Needed)

I believe women are natural nurturers—which often makes us natural people-pleasers. We want others to feel welcomed and cared for, even in seasons when we are the ones who need support.Postpartum is a sacred time, and sometimes that means dialing back the hospitality instinct and leaning into rest, healing, and bonding. Your health and your baby’s wellbeing come first. And yes, that includes setting boundaries.

Who Should Visit—and When?

In the first week after birth, I typically recommend limiting visitors to only close family and trusted friends. This gives you space to settle in, recover, and connect with your baby without pressure or performance. Ask yourself:

What would my ideal visit look like?

Would a warm drink help ease the moment?

Could a visitor reheat a meal or start a load of laundry?

Do I need 15 minutes for a shower while someone I trust holds the baby?

These questions help you plan visits that actually support your healing rather than drain you.

Communicate Before Baby Arrives

Talking through boundaries before your due date can make all the difference. When your expectations are communicated ahead of time, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed in the moment. And if something changes after birth (which it might!), that’s okay too. It’s normal for preferences to shift once you meet your baby.

When People Push Back

If someone pushes back on your boundaries, remember this: 'No' is a full sentence. You can also say, 'We’re learning and adjusting as new parents, and we’d appreciate your grace while we figure things out.' This is a season of newness, and your peace is worth protecting.

Final Thoughts

I hope this helps you think through your own postpartum boundaries. You deserve to feel supported and safe in those early days—not pressured to entertain or explain. You’ve done holy, hard work. Now it’s time to rest, bond, and recover—on your terms.

Ready to set those boundaries and embrace a peaceful postpartum? Dive deeper with my free resource, 'Planning for a Peaceful Postpartum.' Click the button below to get access to in-depth tips and personalized guidance for a calm, joy-filled recovery!

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